Losing my friend….

The phone ringing tore me from my thoughts as I sat, head down, waiting. I knew what the phone call would be before I answered but nothing could prepare me for hearing the words, fears becoming reality as the soft voice at the other end of the connection confirmed what I already knew.

“We’ve carried out the ultrasound and the CT scan, and I’m afraid the results are as we feared. We need to make a decision on how you want to proceed while he is still under anaesthetic I think.”

The vet, a young woman in her late twenties was trying to avoid the words that were already tearing my heart apart

“There really isn’t any option, is there?” I asked, already knowing the answer

“No, the primary tumour has destroyed his spleen and there are multiple secondary tumours throughout his body, there isn’t anything that we could do other than keep him as comfortable as possible I’m afraid”

“Then I think we need to do what is best for him, and help him slip away, if you would kind enough.”

Her response broke me ;

“Thank you, it’s the right decision…do you want to come in and sit with him?”

The tears were streaming down my face as I sat on the car park wall, trying to speak, the words choked off in my throat

“I’ll be there in five minutes”

Sitting in the waiting room, trying to hold my composure, surrounded by other people bring their pets to see the vet, knowing that they would all be going home with theirs while I would be catching the bus home carrying an empty collar and lead


About Autistic writing

Im 46, autistic and vocal about it, a specialist autism mentor in higher education, embarking on my MEd in adult autism, autistic advocate and campaigner, writer and co-founder of asP - the autism strategy partnership #differentnotdamaged #askaboutasP

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