Sometimes you have to make the hard decisions, the tough choices, you have to face the thing that frightens you and confront it head on. There are some battles that need to be fought to the bitter end, and that end can be very bitter indeed. I know this because I’ve had to do it, had to be the one to be strong, had to be the one to say

“Enough, no more, this has gone on long enough!”

And it isn’t easy, it never is and never can be, but sometimes the hard option turns out to be easier in the long run….

….”I can’t do this any more, I went and saw him to try to end it but when I got there I looked into his eyes and the words wouldn’t come…” she, trembled as she spoke…

“You know you can’t keep doing this to yourself don’t you my love? You know I can’t let you keep doing this to yourself? What did he say?” I asked as I held her hand, the coffee shop we were sat in fading into the background as we became wrapped in our own private World, cocooned from the reality outside, the coffees cooling as we talked…

“He told me I had to choose, him or you…. but I can’t! I simply can’t, I love you both too much….”

A deep breath, a pause, the lump in my throat almost too much to bear as I looked into her eyes, knowing that what I was about to do would break us both, but knowing that there was no other way, no other option to give us both the resolution we needed…

“Look at me….you know that I couldn’t do this if I didn’t love you, that if I didn’t know that you loved me this would be impossible…don’t you?”

Her eyes, bright with tears, looked into mine as she bit her lip, no words would come but I didn’t expect any. Squeezing her hand for the final time, feeling my heart breaking I nodded slowly…

“It’s over my love….” and standing, releasing her hand I turned and walked away….

The end….


About Autistic writing

Im 46, autistic and vocal about it, a specialist autism mentor in higher education, embarking on my MEd in adult autism, autistic advocate and campaigner, writer and co-founder of asP - the autism strategy partnership #differentnotdamaged #askaboutasP

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