Chaotic life

The pile of papers strewn around the desk built slowly over time. it wasn’t intentional. A dropped postit note here, a page from a notebook there, filing using the “first available flat surface” principle. Not necessarily the sign of an untidy mind, but perhaps one in which the need for perfection in workspace order is not such an all consuming drive, a mind that is comfortable with at least a little chaos. That’s how it starts though, a little disorder soon becomes a lot, the clutter grows organically, the mind now freed of the neurotic need to tidy, to order, to list, to categorise and organise generates more work, feels more productive.

But in that production, in that increased capacity and output lies the seeds of doom, the sprouting, growing, twisting, choking jumble of detritus. The uninformed uniformity of the morass of paper impossible to wade through, trapping the unwary in a prismatic maze of hazy longing for the old order, for the constraint of method, of reason, the structures that society has developed to sooth the frantic scrambling that is the natural cognitive process of an animal that is at once predator and prey. The human condition, to strive to bring order from chaos, yet in so doing limiting creativity…


About Autistic writing

Im 46, autistic and vocal about it, a specialist autism mentor in higher education, embarking on my MEd in adult autism, autistic advocate and campaigner, writer and co-founder of asP - the autism strategy partnership #differentnotdamaged #askaboutasP

2 thoughts on “Chaotic life

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ˜€ That’s why I’m writing this stuff and putting it it, exploring wordplay, language, tone. I have a friend who is an actor and is reading some of the pieces to see how they sound as spoken word. So far it seems to be quite a productive exercise ๐Ÿ˜€ What has gone up so far was all written in December, and I’m now continuing to produce new pieces to try to build some sort of writing momentum if that makes sense?

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